That butterfly on your velvet skin made me shiver once again. How could something so confusing be so clear in my mind? While you were living your life serenely I was growing in the shadows – a small part of this world, insecure of its own birth, insecure of the line between reality and dreams. Just like those butterflies that cannot come out of their cocoon. Or at least they do not know how. Had I known things would evolve like they did, I would have put an end to everything before it had a chance to happen…

***

I had never seen a moon so bright like it was that night. I was standing on the sidewalk, looking at it as if I were colourblind: besides its whiteness, I could not perceive anything but the blackness of the night. Not even a star. Not even the colours of the things surrounding me. Not even the colour of my own reality. I could have stood there for hours, doing nothing besides watching and breathing from time to time. But a frightening voice – still so familiar – dissolved the perfection of silence. “It is not wise to watch the moon like that”, she whispered in my ear. I turned my head slowly, hoping that time would stop, but like many things that you wish for, it did not happen. I opened my mouth, but my words refused to materialize themselves into sounds. “Come with me”, the voice said again, a little louder, thinking perhaps that I was too mesmerized by the beauty of the moon. I did not want to ask any questions. Wherever that skinny person would have lead me, it would have been better than everything I had. At least, that was the only truth I knew.

The coldness of the mysterious person’s hand reached until the deepest cell of my skin. For an instance, it felt so cold that I thought it would burn my hand. I took a glance at my fingers and their scarlet frightened me. I was feeling insecure of the future. For the first time in that night my consciousness took control. However, I was fighting it with all my possible strength. I wanted to be swallowed by uncertainty, by unknown, drowned in my own fear, for I was more than sure it was my true essence. What else could have been written for a person who did not know where it belonged to and where it was going to? I closed my eyes…it was enough for silence to take control over everything.

***

The impact with the room’s darkness was less violent than I had expected. My eyes seemed used to it as if it was the only clear thing they could bare. Still, it was scratching my retina that was used to the light of day. “It will learn to love darkness”, I told myself with an unusually certainty. I had forgotten that a thing called “Sun” existed, and that its light would cascade into the room sooner or later.

Suddenly I remembered the night before, the moon, the skinny person with her cold hands. In that very same moment I felt her presence. I did not know if I should be afraid or not. All my emotions seemed to have been replaced by something that I defined as a feeling of calm. In my mind, it was all a dream. However, I decided to let myself taken by its waves. After all, dreaming is part of human nature.

I do not know how many minutes (or perhaps hours) passed. All I remember was that she spoke to me again. “Tell me, child, what is your greatest desire?” she asked with a shivering voice. “My greatest…desire?” I did not know what to answer. For the first time in my life I was put face to face with my own self, obliged in a way to look deep within myself for an answer I was not certain of its existence. In the attempt of gaining some time I asked the mysterious person why she wanted to know about my greatest desire. “Well, my child”, she said, “I want to transform it into reality”. At first, I could not perceive the exact meaning of her words. But after she repeated them again, I knew she was telling the truth. It was then when I realized I had the chance to change everything. Despite my enormous fear, I spoke loudly and clear: “I want to resign from humanity!”

***

A showy laughter filled the darkened room. “You want to resign from humanity? Do you even have any idea what that means?”

I felt confused because of her laughter, but sure of my answer as I had never been before. “Grant me my wish or leave this place once and for all!” I shouted without thinking. I wanted so much to see my wish become true that it made my heart beat faster than the speed of light. Her laughter stopped. She looked into my eyes for the first time. Her eyes were empty and cold. It was as if she did not have a soul to mirror through them. “So be it!” she said, and everything vanished into darkness.

***

The next morning I woke up feeling very light, without the possibility to explain myself why. But the strangest thing was yet to happen. Wherever I was going, nobody seemed to be aware of my presence. It was as if I became a ghost. The only difference was that I could feel a pain so deep that it suffocated me. I wanted to scream, but I could not articulate a sound. “I must be dreaming!” I said to myself. But I could not wake up no matter what I was doing. After wandering around all day long, I sat down on a lonely bench tired, breathing hard. A feeling of loneliness embraced my every cell. I felt like a living dead. At that very moment I saw her: dressed in black, smiling at me ironically while smoking a long cigarette, wearing a butterfly tattoo on her velvet cheek. Everything came back to me. “It was not part of a dream…she actually made my wish come true…”

She approached the bench I was sitting on, pressed her cheek next to mine and whispered into my ear: “Would you be capable of giving up your soul to gain your humanity back?”